By Kelly Shank
The word intentional means “doing something on purpose, deliberately, or by design.” Upon reading more about this definition, I perceived that it’s more about a lifestyle—one where you walk your talk and seek out daily habits to align with your values. What I’m finding, though, is that this concept is often missing in our relationships.
Several months ago, I deactivated my social media account. Not only was the doom scrolling taking up too much of my time, but I also found that I was becoming increasingly irritable and annoyed—even with others. It seemed like my feed was always flooded with negative headlines, things I should buy, or someone else’s highlight reel that I couldn’t seem to measure up to. Once I deactivated it, I felt a weight lifted.
After making this change, I very quickly realized how unintentional I had become with my relationships because I had been substituting social media for true connection. I had replaced calling or texting people with viewing their posts online. Also, when I got rid of social media, I suddenly discovered how much more time I had available to actually seek others out.
In my own life, I’ve found that I always have time for what I truly want to do. If you’re anything like me, maybe you, too, would notice that you have a lot more time available when you’re not spending it on social media. Also, you might see those highlight reels for what they truly are—just highlight reels. In reality, every single person is walking through something and, generally, that something is pretty difficult. When we understand this about others, the comparison trap quickly fades, and we can gain quite a bit of perspective and empathy.
I’ve led a Bible Study this past year, and before we took a break for the summer, I encouraged everyone in the group to have a buddy for the summer. This partner would be someone they would actively pursue, pray for, and try to regularly connect with— intentionally.
While we all have busy lives, I know we can do this with at least one person.
So, whom can you seek out this summer? Whom can you actively be intentional with? My assumption is that whoever comes to
mind for you is not by accident. Take a break from the doom scrolling, and use that time to make a phone call. Go for a walk with a friend, or meet them for coffee—I can guarantee that both of your cups will be plenty full when you do.
